Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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