I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
