Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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