Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
