our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
