I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
