Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize