I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
