she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
