Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
