I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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