she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
