try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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