I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Randomize
