just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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