Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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