Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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