Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Houston, we have a squirter
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
