Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
