If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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