Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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