If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
