...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
