At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
organizing the empties. That sober.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
