Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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