I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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