My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
