My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Too much gin, very little bucket
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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