what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
