only if we run a train.
done.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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