At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Actions speak louder than pants.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
