I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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