I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You took a bar mat shot.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
