it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
