he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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