The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
