Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
