dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
