Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
