TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm at about main and main street
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
