I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he was CRYING into my vagina
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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