i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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