where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
