bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize