the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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