There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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