See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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