You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We got so high we made milksteak
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
