Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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