whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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