he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Randomize
