I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
