Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm always down for nudity.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
