I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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