If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
