i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize