Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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