If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You can't special order awesome
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
