I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
pray to the hookup gods
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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