im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
