I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
