**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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